I am not giving up; you may be stronger than me but you are NOT stronger than Jesus Christ who defeated you. You're worthless and I pity you because one day you will get yours and you KNOW who Christ is yet you choose your own paths. You know you are doomed forever and you still walk on. I am no longer in your control; I belong to Jesus just like he said. I am his kid and one day, I hope he makes you pay for everything you have done to me. I hope he makes you pay for everything you have done to all his children! You have tempted us and destroyed us. You've beaten us down with your lies and have led some of us to hate ourselves, kill ourselves, and hurt ourselves. But NO MORE! I'm done with you and your crap.
"He doesn't love you. Look at yourself, you're ugly. DISGUSTING."
I used to believe you about this but no more. God says, " love those who love me, and those who seek me find me. - Proverbs 8:17"
"You never changed. LOOK! You are just the same as you were yesterday."
But God says, "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. - Galatians 2:20" When I accepted Jesus as my savior, he changed me. And yes, you may have ruined it for me, but there is nothing that God can't fix and nothing that God won't help me through.
"You made a mistake that God will never forgive you for. You're unforgivable, worthless."
God says, "If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just (true to His own nature and promises) and will forgive our sins [dismiss our lawlessness] and [continuously] cleanse us from all unrighteousness [everything not in conformity to His will in purpose, thought, and action].1 John 1: 9"
I admit, I masturbated. I still pull out my hair sometimes. But God loves me and I will not be conquered by some evil monster who wants me to never find God. One day, I will be so strong in my faith, nothing you say or put in my mind and heart will hurt me. I do not have to deal with your crap anymore. God loves me, he died for me and he's gonna get you.
Dear God,
Please forgive me! Help me repent change my heart! Masturbation is wrong and disgusting and I hate that I do it to myself!! It's nasty and It sickens me and you. Please, whenever I have something that triggers my lust, help me come to you. Fight it for me! Because I tried to fight it by myself and look what happened, I did it anyways. I am not strong without you. You said that with you anything is possible. If so God, please, help me stop! This is destroying my relationship with you and my walk. I am doing it for my own selfish needs. I want to work for you and others! Please, don't let me stray again. I'm so sorry that I do this, I want to stop. You are more important to me than anything. I will get baptised and I will follow you because without you, I will surely die. Without you, I am nothing.
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