My heart has chosen.
I am not in control of how I feel for someone or if I'm attracted to someone. I can control what I do about it...and in this case, I've decided to do nothing. I'm just gonna rock the boat and see how it goes. What else am I supposed to do? I really like you and you're probably no good for me but my heart has already given itself away.
My friends don't understand this. Especially my closest guy friend, Dave. He just thinks that I can control who I like and who I don't like. That I can stop thinking about Willy whenever I want. But it's been a week now and he has been a thought in my head every single day. No matter how hard I have tried to stop thinking of him, he's always there. I can't even lie about it. My mom asked me if I liked him and I couldn't even keep a straight face. I tried to say "No" but my smile and blushing cheeks gave that answer away real quick.
He hugged me...I just walked home in this trance-like state thinking, "Hugs. It went from tapping on the shoulder to hugs in like...a day!" Lol...I know, childish thinking. But I couldn't help it. I haven't liked someone in so long that I've kinda forgotten what it feels like to flirt and joke and just be Happy. Gosh, I'm just so happy it's pretty ridiculous. Dave doesn't make me feel any better though. He always tries to bring me down because I like Willy. Sadly, he succeeds sometimes. I mean I shouldn't like him, I'm just accepting that I do and we'll see where it goes from there. Hopefully I won't be too shy. I wish I wasn't so darn shy...ugh. Oh well, maybe tomorrow will be one of those days in which everything turns out right :)
Oh snap, Chem homework and Civics worksheet...I'll write more maybe Sunday-ish. Night everyone