Sorry for my little outburst there, I'm having guy issues. And I really don't like being the "man", making all the moves, texting first, giving in first. God, I hate it. It's like I'm making myself look needy when really I was living just fine without him and I never needed him in my life and still don't. I hate playing games too but he needs a taste of his own medicine. Especially the whole not texting me back game. I know it's just a text and nothing we even say to each other is really important but that's not the point. I know that he only does it to annoy me, to play around with my emotions. I know it! It's like he's waiting to see if I'll give in and you know what, I'm not doing that anymore. This is my show, there's no way that I'm going to be some boys play thing.
Alright, now that that's out of my mind, today was actually really fun. I hung out with my best friend David and my brother. About David, I don't think I've mentioned him before...he means so much to me. Our friendship is priceless. Noo, I'm not in love with him but there was a time where I wish I had been. He's just one of those really nice, sweet guys. Respectful, silly, childish when needed to be and knows exactly how to cheer someone up. But for all the potential we would have together, I just can't date someone without being attracted to them at least a little bit. I'd feel like I'm cheating them and myself; I wish my heart wasn't so stupid. He's perfect and he's right there but my heart keeps saying no. My mind knows it would work out perfectly but my heart isn't ready I guess...I don't know. Life is a tad confusing sometimes.
Summer has been a bore too. It doesn't even feel like summer to me. The seniors graduated last Friday. I thought I would cry since most of them are my friends, but I didn't. I don't really care anymore. I'm never going to see most of them again anyways, so it's sad but I'm just like whatever about it. Life goes on and so must I. Can't keep trying to hold onto something you never actually had anyways. Well, gotta do some homework so catch you guys another time. :)
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