I HATE this House.

I remember when the emptiness of this home used to be so reassuring. The smell of something new clung to my hopes and dreams and I was sure that this would be the place where I could find comfort and solace. But a year has gone and passed and I can't stand this house and it's vastness. I can't stand the expensive furniture and the exotic paintings or the soft, beige carpets and the bright kitchen. I hate hearing the "click" of the locks as my key opens my personal hell hole and I really, really can't stand walking up the stairs into the white walls of my boring bedroom. I guess you could say I have MAJOR cabin fever and I've only been in here for two days. The thing is, If it was up to me I would never be home. I would be outside walking around the neighborhood or at the pool laughing with my friends, or maybe at the bookstore curling up in one of those big, velvet red couches they have. I would never ever be at home where the comfort of four walls can only excite someone for so long.I blame my mom. She won't let me go out or walk or ride my bike. I know she does it out of love but gosh darn it, a girl just wants to be FREE sometimes. I hate being the little bird stuck in a cage watching as everyone else around me goes out about their business. I am so pissed off but I'm sure it's not only this that's bothering me...it's this stupid math class I'm helping my mom with. She makes things so damn difficult! She's just been pushing my buttons and making my crazy; anymore of this and I might really explode! Then there's Willy. I really do like him and I want him to know but he's a senior and he's leaving me...I know he's going to forget everything too, it's what seniors do best. They get their diploma at graduation, say their goodbyes and farewells, make broken promises of visits, and they never come back. Life goes on and it's only when you realize they didn't come visit that you know they're really gone. I've been so sad about this because most of my "friends" were seniors this year and now they're going to be nothing more than just a face in the crowd. I really care, I wish they knew how much I really do care. Ugh...my life is this big jumble. I've gotten into some interesting things (No not drugs). School sucked. Summer's starting to suck. The people I love dearly are leaving. My mother is annoying the crap outta me. I don't know what I want. AND I REALLY really DON'T want to be in this stupid house of mine!!!!!!
I know...I'm blowing up. Sorry everyone. For blowing up and for not writing for two months....life has been crazy.


-Ana